The Autumn of 1984....I am met with mixed emotions.
It was a great time in pop culture and I was into all of it, but I was also a 10 year old mess.
There was however, one thing different. I now lived with my Dad. It was life changing and change did me some good after a lot of painful times after my parents divorce. Things were better, but still not perfect.
Something was about to ease my mind, if only for a little while. It was the fall carnival at my elementary school.
This was my first year in Kansas City at my new school. It was going ok, I guess. Then fall came along and everything turned damp, crisp and was bursting with color! I found the dismal, rainy days to be my favorite (not much has changed in that regard).
I was into Michael Jackson in '84 and was only natural for me to wear black and red parachute pants to the carnival at school.
I remember being on the playground with my stepmom who was pretty and loving. She had her arm around me, walking on the blacktop where I spent recess time playing hopscotch and double dutch.
We did the cake walk together. Bobbed for apples and visited with some of my school friends.
It was a perfect, cloudy, crisp fall evening.
There were several other games but I mostly remember my time with her on this enchanting night.
I sometimes wonder if I really love fall, or is it because some of the best times in my life happened to be in the fall?
I miss my stepmom.
After she and my dad divorced, I lost track of her for several years. I saw her now and then but it was very painful for me because I had missed her so.
When I had my first child, I began soul searching and dug deep into my past. I had to face so many things. I had to learn what not to do. I had to find a way to never let my kids feel the pain that I went through.
I realized that my stepmom treated me like her real child. I know this now from experience of being mom.
After years of searching, I found her a few years back, with the help of my dad. I was able to speak to her on the phone and then write her a letter. I was able to tell her all the things I wanted to say.
How much I loved her. How many good memories she created for me in my childhood and so on.
I have since lost track of her again but that does not change my cherished memories of her.
Especially the one at my school's Fall Carnival, 1984.
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